swine flu

i have utter disgust for the swine flu hysteria.  IT'S JUST THE FLU.  by calling it swine flu you only freak people out.  i used swine flu as the example in my AP government class when i talked about the media engaging in agenda setting - the media tells us that swine flu is a HUGE PROBLEM and we believe it is a HUGE PROBLEM.  we are sheep!  sheep!  no one is dying from swine flu except those with already compromised immune systems.

if you thought the media hype over swine flu in the US was bad, welcome to britain - it's worse here, if that's possible.  it's been made even more crazy by the fact that recently a healthy kid died of swine flu.  the newspapers have absurd headlines like "1/3 of the population will be infected with swine flu by christmas."  which might be true, but who cares?  it's just a fever of 38 degrees celsius (100 degrees fahrenheit) or higher, accompanied by cough, sore throat, runny nose, muscle pain, tiredness, and/or diarrhea.  

at this point you might be saying to yourself, "claire, how do you know what the symptoms of swine flu are?"  well, dear reader, that's because we have two official cases of swine flu at our program.  we currently have two kids in isolation, one of whom had a fever that spiked tonight at 103 degrees.  so, um, it is pretty serious, even though i will continue to make a mockery of it in this post.  the day has been so ridiculously busy dealing with all of this that it's comical at this point.

let me tell you about britain's nationalized health care system and how it reacts to swine flu.  official protocol: DO NOT GO TO A DOCTOR.  um, excuse me?  yes, you heard me right.  a doctor will refuse to see you.  you CALL the doctor, who diagnoses you over the phone.  they aren't testing for the H1N1 strain of flu (aka swine flu) any more, because SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE IT.  the doctor basically said to us (over the phone) in these two situations, "this child officially has swine flu.  does he TECHNICALLY have swine flu?  we have no idea."

our first "official" case of swine flu was "diagnosed" yesterday, and this evening we had our second (fever boy).  now that we have a thermometer (which we purchased today, along with 440 pounds (about $700) worth of antibacterial and antiviral wipes, kleenex (one box for every child BECAUSE WE HAVE LOST OUR MINDS.  this was not my decision, obviously), etc.) we will be checking temperatures left and right, and i'm sure now that we're looking for it we will find more cases of the dreaded swine flu.  we've had several kids come in over the past week who have sore throats and don't feel well, but we've sent them all off and told them to take tylenol and rest.  and other than our two swine flu boys, everyone appears to be fine.  now i predict we will try to diagnose them with swine flu if their temperature is over 38 degrees celsius - this is the national health system's bench mark for swine flu.  (the fact that they have a FEVER BENCHMARK is ridiculous in and of itself.)  

for those who don't know, Q (a good friend from college whom i also work with - hi Q!) is fascinated by illnesses and how they spread, and has been obsessively watching the swine flu stuff since it began in the spring.  and i make fun of him endlessly for it.  i was talking to him online today and telling him about our swine flu cases and how i am sick (sore throat started tuesday but is gone now, replaced by a really runny nose and a cough...nothing too bad, just annoying).  i don't think i had a temperature at any point (and i don't now - OBVIOUSLY we had to test out the fun ear thermometer on everyone in the office to make sure it worked), but who knows.  i had chalked my sickness up to 400 kids bringing all their germs to oxford, but Q has informed me that he thinks i am a SWINE FLU CARRIER.  dun dun DUN (ominous music).  this is what has happened to us - we are all questioning even the smallest illnesses now...

pray for my sanity.