ear thermometers

swine flu update: we have reached a new low, and it involves our ear thermometer.  ear thermometers have little disposable plastic caps that go over the tip to keep the whole operation sterile.  when we had our first swine flu case last thursday, we bought an ear thermometer and three boxes of caps (probably 20 caps per box).  well, when you are checking a kid's temperature every 2-3 hours, you use a lot of ear thermometer caps, so we sped through those, and bought two more boxes on sunday.  yesterday we were down to two caps.  so we called over to the other college (oriel), and the following conversation ensued:

larry (my co-dean at pembroke): do you guys have any ear thermometer caps we can borrow?

tonia (a dean at oriel): how many do you need?

larry: how many do you have?

tonia: how many do you need?

larry: um, as many as you can spare!

tonia: we have 15.  i can give you two.

larry: two?  can't we have half of them?  we'll send someone out to buy more - we just need to make it a couple more hours!

tonia: okay, you can have four.

larry: what about five?

tonia: we really need these caps.

larry: us, too!  we'll buy you more!

tonia: okay, five.

well, in the process of bringing the five measly ear thermometer caps over to pembroke, one got lost, so we only got four after all.

then warren, a PA, was sent out to buy ear thermometer caps.  he went to 4 pharmacies in the area, and all were sold out of caps.  ALL OF THEM.  SWINE FLU HYSTERIA IN BRITAIN REQUIRES PEOPLE TO BUY UP EAR THERMOMETER CAPS (apparently).  we then put him in a cab and he spent the next 2 hours (and 28 pounds) going to pharmacies on the outskirts of town and only found one that still had the caps in stock, so he promptly bought all of them - 80 caps total.  and yes, we gave 40 to oriel.  we are suckers.

next step: buy some online and have them express shipped to us.  THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE, AS ALL ONLINE OUTLETS IN BRITAIN ARE SOLD OUT AS WELL.  seriously: we are now looking at international dealers of ear thermometer caps.  it is ridiculous.  

in the swine flu hysteria involving the purchasing of a grillion boxes of kleenex and anti-bacterial wipes, we also purchased the ear thermometer (logical), a stethoscope (excuse me?), and a blood pressure machine (proof that we have lost our minds).  whoever was sent out on that shopping trip went a little crazy.  the stethoscope is obviously still in the original packaging, but i think we feel better having stocked ridiculous items JUST IN CASE.  the staff game entitled "take everyone's temperature using the ear thermometer" is over (this is both caused by, and the result of, a dearth of ear thermometer caps).  a new game has replaced it: "take everyone's blood pressure."  (hooray - a new toy!)  we played this game for about 20 minutes last night after we came home from a pub and while half the group was eating greasy food from the kebab van that parks outside pembroke.  needless to say, i think some of the readings were skewed by this.

on a more serious note, today our program is being inspected by an international organization that is responsible for certifying that summer study programs (like ours) actually have an academic element.  the british government is requiring this inspection of all "academic" programs in their country - just like a school or university would be certified, so must we.  so, amidst swine flu (which has now spread to two members of the staff - alisa (a teacher) and sally (a PA), who has a 39.4 degree celsius (103 fahrenheit) temperature...), we will be inspected today.  i guess i shouldn't show up to work in yoga pants and a sweatshirt, huh?